The New Greeter of Wal-Mart

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Three years ago, an office manager of Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting out a stack of resumes, he found four equally qualified applicants: an American, a Russian, an Australian

and a Filipino.

The interviewer had decided to call the four in and asked them only one question. Their answers would determine who of them would get the job. 

The day came. The four applicants sat around the conference room table and the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know?”

Dan, the American, replied, “A thought. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of, sir.”

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.

“And now you sir?” he asked Demyr, the Russian.

“Hmm…. let me see, sir. A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know, sir.”

“Excellent!” replied the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”

And then the interviewer turned to Rod, the Australian who was contemplating his reply at that time. 

“Well, sir, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light in the barn comes on. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of, sir.”

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found the right man for the job and said, “It’s really hard to beat the speed of light.” 

Now turning to Ely, the Filipino, who was the fourth and final applicant, the interviewer posed the same question. And Ely replied, “Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et’s ob yus to me dat the fastest ting is Diarrhea.” 

“What!?” replied the interviewer, who was stunned by the response. While the first three applicants were already giggling in their seats. 

“Oh, I can expleyn it, sir,” said Ely on his Filipino English. ” You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, ‘tang ina, sir, I had alreydi chit in my pants!” 

Without any further question, the interviewer stood up, touched Ely’s shoulder and said, “You’re the man I am looking for. Congratulations. You are now the new “GREETER” of Wal-Mart!

The idea of this article was taken from my Laugh-Site Group.

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